i've moved cities five times in eight years. this is the checklist i wish i'd had the first time.
before you go
the 30-day visit. spend at least a month in the new city before committing. not as a tourist, but as a fake resident. work from cafes, cook at home, take public transit, experience a rainy Tuesday. a city's character reveals itself on boring days, not exciting ones.
the social audit. count the number of people in the new city you'd call if you had a bad day. if the answer is zero, factor in a 6-12 month loneliness period. it's manageable if you expect it. it's crushing if you don't.
the walkability test. can you do your daily errands without a car? groceries, gym, coffee, post office. if yes, the city is livable. if no, you're signing up for a driving lifestyle, which has a massive quality-of-life tax most people underestimate.
the first month
find one third place. not home, not work. a third place you go regularly. a coffee shop, a gym, a co-working space. regularity creates familiarity creates belonging. go to the same place at the same time and you'll start recognizing faces within two weeks.
say yes to everything. for the first month, say yes to every social invitation, even the ones that sound boring. your filter for "interesting" is calibrated to your old city. the new city has different rhythms, and you need to recalibrate.
join one recurring thing. a running club, a book club, a volunteer group, a climbing gym with a regular crowd. the key word is "recurring." one-off events give you acquaintances. recurring events give you relationships.
things nobody tells you
the hardest part isn't logistics. it's the identity disruption. in your old city, you knew who you were: the person who goes to that bar, knows those people, lives in that neighborhood. in a new city, you're nobody. that's simultaneously freeing and terrifying.
it takes about nine months for a new city to feel like home. there's no shortcut. around month four you'll question the decision. around month seven you'll start defending the city to visitors. that's when you know it's working.
status: updated after every move. will probably keep updating this forever.